Joke #1

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
'Nurse,'.... he mumbles, from behind the mask, 'are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again............ 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he might elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.  She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and carefully takes his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.  Then she takes a close look, and gently replaces his gown and bedding.  'There's nothing wrong with them, sir.'
With difficulty, the man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says slowly,  'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely.   'ARE-MY-TEST-RESULTS-BACK?'

Credits to BnP